Love in the time of COVID-19

COVID-19 has universally disrupted people’s day-to-day lives, including working, shopping, leisure and travel. But what does it mean for sex, relationships and dating? When you’re supposed to maintain a distance of 1.5 metres from other people, how can you have sex, date or spend time with your partner? This article explores the implications of COVID-19 on women’s sexual health and sex lives. Women have distinct sexual and reproductive health needs, however, these are not always addressed by healthcare services or health promotion. Much of the advice regarding COVID-19 and sex, for example, has been targeted at men who have sex with men, which reinforces assumptions about women not engaging in casual sex and thus, not being at risk of COVID-19 through sexual contact.

While COVID-19 is not a sexually transmissible infection like chlamydia, HIV or gonorrhoea, it is possible to spread the virus through close physical contact. As an infectious disease, it spreads through small droplets from the nose or mouth which are transmitted when a person with COVID-19 coughs or exhales. This means COVID-19 can be transmitted through kissing, hugging, touching and sex. In order to reduce the risk of community transmission, many experts and organisations like Thorne Harbour Health, ACON and New York City Health are advising people to abstain from casual sex during this time.

The spread of the virus and potential strain on the healthcare system has resulted in the imposition of a State of Emergency and social distancing regulations that are enforceable by law in Victoria. This means that businesses such as restaurants, bars, live music venues, cafes, movie theatres and other public areas are closed, and many states across Australia have restrictions prohibiting close contact with people outside your household. In this context, dating is not only near-impossible, but risks a fine or imprisonment.

People in relationships are still permitted to visit each other in their homes, after the Victorian government reneged on an initial ban. However, you are advised to avoid sex or close contact with your partner if they’re experiencing symptoms, have recently returned from overseas or have had contact with a confirmed case.

It’s important that people continue to practice safe sex, particularly if they wish to avoid pregnancy. Access to contraception may be limited at the moment: condom production has been halted due to lockdowns internationally, and hormonal birth control and emergency contraception (the “morning after pill”) may be harder to access. Women and people with a uterus may wish to consider long-acting reversible contraceptive options, such as an implant or intrauterine device as alternatives. There are benefits to long-acting reversible contraception that are particularly evident during COVID-19: they are more effective and overall economical contraceptive options that don’t interfere with sex or require users to remember to take them, as with condoms or birth control pills. Once an implant or intrauterine device is removed, fertility resumes quickly. Furthermore, users of long-acting reversible contraception can keep their reproductive choices private: it is generally not possible for others to see that you’re using contraception, which makes it a good option for women experiencing abuse or reproductive coercion. In the context of COVID-19, where condoms are in short supply, and women may experience difficulty getting appointments with prescribers or be restricted in the number of repeat scripts they can claim at a time; long-acting reversible contraception may be a better option for some.

While relationships can provide people with emotional support during the disruptions, COVID-19 may increase strain: many people are working from home; experiencing redundancies or loss of income; or re-organising childcare, schooling or care for other dependents, for example.

With tensions running high, there are some strategies you can implement to help maintain a healthy relationship:

• Ensure you’re taking care of your own mental health by engaging in self-care practices such as journaling, meditating, getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, eating balanced meals and exercising regularly. Try to establish boundaries between your work and leisure time, although this may be more difficult while working from home. Reduce your use of alcohol and other drugs. Engage in creative or fun hobbies from home.
• Connect with your friends and family members via video chats, apps or regular phone calls, to ensure you have adequate support and social connections outside your relationship.
• Discuss your schedules. If you are both working during regular business hours, arrange separate workspaces that will enable you to do your jobs without interfering with the other. If you are parents, discuss how you’ll share childcare responsibilities with your workload.
• Communicate. Check in with each other regularly. Acknowledge that your partner may be coping with the situation differently. Show gratitude or appreciation for acts of kindness. Use “I” statements to express anxiety or frustration, such as “I feel…” rather than “You…”
• Respect each other’s need for time alone. Perhaps demarcate a part of the living space for “time out” or privacy, or schedule a 30 minute window of time to yourself each day and ensure your partner also has that opportunity.
• Ensure that your time spent together is “conscious” time where possible. Log off social media, mute your phone, and spend your lunch break together.

The outbreak of COVID-19 and imposition of a State of Emergency in Victoria is a new and challenging experience for everyone; predicted to have far-reaching and long-term impacts on public health, the economy, local and international governance, travel, and potentially, civic rights. Most people have little control over how the situation unfolds; however, we can exert some control in how it affects our own health and wellbeing, including our sexual and reproductive health, and our relationships.